What exactly is a tantric or sensual massage?
What a tantric/sensual massage looks like with me:
I purposely choose not to call my massages ‘tantric’ as an intentional way to demystify and normalise sensual touch so as not to deem it only for the ‘spiritual’ or people who have had an introduction to tantric/energetic work. See my blog about ‘confusion of what a tantric massage means’. In my 20 years of bodywork experience I feel using the more general term ‘sensual’ helps make this type of bodywork more accessible for people who otherwise wouldn’t consider having an intimate massage such as this. Although I use many tantric tools throughout my sessions I like the generalised and openness that the word ‘sensual’ offers to be more accessible.
Upon arrival we’d sit down and have a friendly chat - asking you questions such as:
have you had this type of massage before?
do you have any specific questions you’d like to go over before the massage starts?
is there anything you’d like the me to know or anything that you think I should know - eg recent operations or injuries, issues such as premature ejaculation or erection difficulties, tight pelvic muscles, support with understanding how to masturbate or orgasm differently, stress related issues affecting sex and libido etc
Are there any boundaries that you have? Is there any type of touch or location that you definitely don’t want or do want to include? Do you want verbal checking in half way through? Do you want any internal touch? Nothing is taken as a given and informed consent is paramount to holding a safe space.
This chat helps put you at ease so you can feel comfortable and I can know if there’s a specific intention you’d like to explore that I can support you with during the massage. For example if people are trying to explore more ejaculation choice or orgasm range (delayed or more intense, full bodied rather than quick and localised sensations) its helpful for them to talk about this so I can better guide you with breath-work during the massage. Some people choose to have follow up tuition sessions or work with me in a combo of coaching and massage sessions to really help to overcome and explore different issues and intentions.
Nervous?
Its perfectly normal to feel a bit nervous or anxious - we fully appreciate it can be nerve-racking to go to a new location with a new person and feel vulnerable. This is why its important for us for you to feel safe, seen and heard so we can tailor the session to suit you as much as possible within the container that we create.
Massage table:
After a quick chat you’ll be invited to undress and lay face down on the massage table.
Tantric massage - the beginning phase:
I will talk you through some gentle calming breathing techniques to help quieten your mind and allow you to tune into your body. You’ll be massaged with warm oil all over your body using a variety of massage techniques and full body strokes to rhythmically encourage you to surrender and go into a space of receiving pleasure passively rather than trying to direct or control.
This almost meditative state along with deep breathing, the sensual environment and sensations of the massage supports you into tuning into your own body at a deeper level. Allowing yourself to relax into sensual arousal naturally rather than forcing or rushing anything. Gradually the massage becomes more arousing - I use my hands and parts of my body to glide over yours (what’s known as ‘body to body’) whilst encouraging you to relax, and breathe fully to expand the sensations and erotic energy throughout your body.
Sensual/tantric massage - the peak phase:
This same process continues as you turn over and slowly the massage starts to focus on erogenous zones and genitals.
Sensual/tantric massage for men: I focus on bringing you up to the point before orgasm (say 80% arousal) through massage of the penis (lingam massage) several times. This is so you can recognise that point and relax, expand and flow with the sensations and sexual energy rather than ‘rush to the finish line’ or speed up or tighten up to control or delay. Learning to recognise this point and open up to it is one of the most powerful body lessons during the tantric massage and can be a gateway to learning more about a mediative and tantric approach to your own body and its sexuality and to how you approach sex with yourself and partners.
Sensual,tantric massage for women: I will focus on breast massage and vulva/vaginal touch (yoni massage) with intuitive listening to the body and adapting to suit each individual going from their initial discussion and tuning into how each woman responds. Although its not as easy to ‘see’ where a woman is at in her arousal phase without the visual of an erection I’m well practiced at making a woman feel safe enough to surrender and let go without the pressure of ‘trying’ to orgasm. The focus is on exploring different ways of pleasure and sexual energy throughout her body that may come in waves of orgasmic release, ejaculation, or more of a holistic full body sensual state.
In all cases there is no pressure to have any particular type of genital touch, there’s no pressure or expectation to have any internal touch, orgasm or ejaculation. Some clients want the experience of receiving full bodied sensual touch and being in that moment without their ‘usual’ expectations to perform, rush their own arousal or be in their heads thinking about these things. The sessions are totally customised to suit you and your own needs at the time of the session. You also may have booked wanting one type of experience and upon arrival you’re in another state of mind - this is why it’s important to have the initial chat and check in before we begin each session.
Sensual/tantric massage - the grounding phase:
The attention then becomes on grounding the body back down after it’s reached a ‘peak’ orgasmic phase or not - we ensure there is no pressure or expectation to get to any ‘goal’ and to enjoy the full bodied journey of the experience. I will guide you to slow down your breath and integrate by being aware of more subtle sensations in your body and slowly finish with a head and foot massage and complete with some stillness to close the session.
You will be gently wiped down with hot towels to get rid of the excess oil and also welcomed to have a moment of reflection if you feel like it. Most times I recommend you stay with the sensations in your body and take a quiet walk or enjoy some stillness in the park nearby the studio to help integrate the experience. This is a much better way to savour and allow your body to ‘download’ the experience rather than rushing off or checking your phones straight away!
